








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2849 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1663 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,095 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloud | 65% | 164 |
| #2 | tizz | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Muna-G | 59% | 58 |
| #4 | GiaYes! | 57% | 221 |
| #5 | lew | 56% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GiaYes! | 57% | 221 |
| #5 | lew | 56% | 208 |
| #6 | JasperDeBanaan | 54% | 81 |
| #7 | dikzak | 54% | 110 |
| #8 | .mrtpnd | 53% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiaYes! | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Cloud | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | dikzak | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | lew | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Muna-G | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lew | 604 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | GiaYes! | 593 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | dikzak | 400 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Cloud | 381 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | JasperDeBanaan | 208 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloud | +2.40 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | lew | +1.26 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | lucz | +0.83 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | GiaYes! | +0.81 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Muna-G | -0.12 | 69 | 53 |





