








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 927 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1726 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1977 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2206 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,016 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tizz | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Cloud | 54% | 133 |
| #3 | lucz | 53% | 152 |
| #4 | BAND4BAND Jim | 50% | 44 |
| #5 | JasperDeBanaan | 48% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | GiaYes! | 47% | 260 |
| #7 | lew | 45% | 177 |
| #8 | Vosse | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Muna-G | 40% | 65 |
| #10 | dikzak | 37% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucz | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | GiaYes! | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Cloud | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | JasperDeBanaan | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | dikzak | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiaYes! | 640 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | lew | 525 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | JasperDeBanaan | 304 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | dikzak | 299 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Cloud | 292 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloud | +2.83 | 90 | 56 |
| #2 | BAND4BAND Jim | +2.69 | 81 | 70 |
| #3 | Muna-G | +1.44 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | lew | +1.13 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | GiaYes! | +1.05 | 72 | 61 |





