








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 867 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3490 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3490 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1393 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2159 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $697,777 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 248 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AL3Cc- | 62% | 81 |
| #4 | Super Sefu | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | Six0neFive | 58% | 48 |
| #6 | jami | 52% | 58 |
| #7 | FrobaGツ | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REIJO | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | AL3Cc- | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | jami | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Super Sefu | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Six0neFive | 4 | 0.0043 |





