








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5350 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5911 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5889 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6901 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,214,648 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1043 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XZeffer | 62% | 84 |
| #2 | gobL1n | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | CAW CAW!!!! CAW CAW!!!! | 60% | 121 |
| #4 | SpaceWalrus | 58% | 124 |
| #5 | Ngtp | 56% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | opium rob | 35 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Ngtp | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Klean | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Ducketh | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | MapLE | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XZeffer | +4.83 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | CAW CAW!!!! CAW CAW!!!! | +4.65 | 75 | 52 |
| #3 | Ngtp | +4.06 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | SLoP | +2.20 | 63 | 26 |
| #5 | gobL1n | +1.04 | 44 | 66 |





