








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3102 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2520 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1410 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,263 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vampetassssooooo | 41% | 97 |
| #6 | Griffin | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | MX kendrick | 33% | 45 |
| #9 | Zetta | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 22 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Beirinho | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | saved by grace - zinho | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | MX kendrick | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 478 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Beirinho | 425 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | saved by grace - zinho | 197 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Vampetassssooooo | 126 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | MX kendrick | 86 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beirinho | +3.00 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | 04 | +1.07 | 63 | 63 |
| #3 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | +0.32 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | saved by grace - zinho | -0.18 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | 2002 Ronaldinho | -1.48 | 48 | 60 |





