










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1119 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1124 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1084 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,127 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griffin | 44% | 18 |
| #2 | saved by grace - zinho | 43% | 92 |
| #3 | Beirinho | 43% | 117 |
| #4 | 04 | 41% | 97 |
| #5 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 39% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 04 | 41% | 97 |
| #5 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 39% | 114 |
| #6 | MX kendrick | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | 32% | 28 |
| #8 | Zetta | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | 10 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | Beirinho | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | saved by grace - zinho | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Zetta | 5 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2002 Ronaldinho | 382 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | 04 | 310 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Beirinho | 305 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | saved by grace - zinho | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | 80 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beirinho | +2.87 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | 04 | +1.44 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | saved by grace - zinho | +1.15 | 55 | 61 |
| #4 | ❤🖤Zetta ❤🖤 | +0.74 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | 2002 Ronaldinho | -0.87 | 53 | 60 |





