








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 814 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1067 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1036 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $984,604 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Concon | 47% | 120 |
| #2 | spangbab | 43% | 90 |
| #3 | JP | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | KingKai | 38% | 39 |
| #5 | BP | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Concon | 47% | 120 |
| #2 | spangbab | 43% | 90 |
| #3 | JP | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | KingKai | 38% | 39 |
| #5 | BP | 35% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Concon | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | BP | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | KingKai | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 461 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | Concon | 351 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | BP | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | KingKai | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | JP | 65 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | +2.24 | 75 | 79 |
| #2 | BP | +1.40 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | Concon | +1.05 | 74 | 46 |
| #4 | azz | +0.70 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | KingKai | -0.72 | 52 | 42 |





