








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,105 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1077 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1140 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 235 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,248 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | JP | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | Concon | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | azz | 35% | 51 |
| #5 | KingKai | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 50% | 101 |
| #2 | JP | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | Concon | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | azz | 35% | 51 |
| #5 | KingKai | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Concon | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | JP | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | azz | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | KingKai | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spangbab | 596 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #2 | JP | 231 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Concon | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | azz | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | KingKai | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JP | +2.75 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | BP | +1.37 | 71 | 48 |
| #3 | Concon | +0.11 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | azz | -1.58 | 52 | 38 |
| #5 | KingKai | -2.04 | 51 | 45 |





