








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4331 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2950 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1330 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3532 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,331,662 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jan. | 57% | 357 |
| #5 | v1NN | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | Brasnika | 53% | 124 |
| #7 | Neil ൠ | 50% | 48 |
| #8 | pretixo | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jan. | 2423 | 0.32 | 52 min |
| #2 | Brasnika | 356 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Neil ൠ | 167 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | pretixo | 140 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | v1NN | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |





