








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2233 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,696 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | CHARLE | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | boof | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Ballistic | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | richard glick | 3 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 241 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | boof | 126 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | CHARLE | 126 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ballistic | 97 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chuey | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |





