








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 633 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3872 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4140 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3581 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4791 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,620,931 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chuey | 51% | 361 |
| #2 | CHARLE | 49% | 193 |
| #3 | richard glick | 49% | 124 |
| #4 | Pun | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Hataak | 46% | 223 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 24 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Chuey | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Hataak | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | CHARLE | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | richard glick | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 1158 | 0.21 | 31 min |
| #2 | CHARLE | 652 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Chuey | 650 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | Hataak | 399 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | richard glick | 265 | 0.10 | 8 min |





