








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1080 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 432 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4819 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5411 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2498 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5234 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,086,410 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1076 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenny | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Phin | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | Xavier | 55% | 93 |
| #4 | Chuey | 53% | 145 |
| #5 | richard glick | 50% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Marx_ | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 48% | 260 |
| #10 | Ballistic | 47% | 47 |
| #11 | Hataak | 42% | 81 |
| #12 | henny | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 29 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | richard glick | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Ballistic | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | boof | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Hataak | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | 1070 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | boof | 375 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | richard glick | 335 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Xavier | 327 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | Chuey | 231 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHARLE | +3.57 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | kenny | +2.25 | 87 | 64 |
| #3 | Chuey | +1.92 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Xavier | +0.34 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | ♿Pickles™(Owns Gaming Chair) | -0.58 | 72 | 58 |





