








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5683 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1877 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 5580 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4637 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,197 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moff_G | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | Boop | 49% | 369 |
| #3 | Jayyy | 49% | 303 |
| #4 | BigPapi | 48% | 304 |
| #5 | Silver Ag | 48% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jayyy | 49% | 303 |
| #4 | BigPapi | 48% | 304 |
| #5 | Silver Ag | 48% | 222 |
| #6 | Scarlet Lightning | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | Baka4Bernie | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayyy | 43 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Boop | 42 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | BigPapi | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Silver Ag | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Moff_G | 11 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayyy | 1010 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | BigPapi | 847 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #3 | Boop | 788 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | Silver Ag | 465 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Moff_G | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moff_G | +2.77 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Jayyy | +2.17 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Boop | +1.91 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | BigPapi | -1.08 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | Baka4Bernie | -1.29 | 44 | 65 |





