








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1263 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1472 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1751 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1566 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $780,372 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chupacabra Killer | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | Jayyy | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | Boop | 58% | 92 |
| #4 | KreDenZ | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | BigPapi | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chupacabra Killer | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | Jayyy | 58% | 76 |
| #3 | Boop | 58% | 92 |
| #4 | KreDenZ | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | BigPapi | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boop | 20 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Jayyy | 16 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | BigPapi | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Chupacabra Killer | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chupacabra Killer | 303 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Jayyy | 270 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Boop | 241 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | BigPapi | 152 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | KreDenZ | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moff_G | +1.45 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Jayyy | +1.38 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Boop | +1.15 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | KreDenZ | -1.08 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | BigPapi | -1.91 | 68 | 52 |





