








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 906 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 634 | 23% |
| Smokes | 770 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,697 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 814 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JyrJyrK | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | kodha | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | ZephyR⚘ | 44% | 68 |
| #4 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 43% | 56 |
| #5 | melvin | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JyrJyrK | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | kodha | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | ZephyR⚘ | 44% | 68 |
| #4 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 43% | 56 |
| #5 | melvin | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZephyR⚘ | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | melvin | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | JyrJyrK | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | kodha | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | melvin | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | kodha | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZephyR⚘ | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | JyrJyrK | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kodha | +4.95 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | tristen | +3.02 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | JyrJyrK | +1.94 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | ZephyR⚘ | +0.31 | 77 | 42 |
| #5 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | -3.21 | 53 | 32 |





