








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 313 | 46% |
| Smokes | 139 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 108 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,304 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JyrJyrK | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | tristen | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | melvin | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | ZephyR⚘ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JyrJyrK | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | tristen | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | melvin | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | ZephyR⚘ | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | melvin | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | tristen | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tristen | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #2 | melvin | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | JyrJyrK | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | ZephyR⚘ | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | on a quest ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kodha | +4.20 | 67 | 50 |
| #2 | JyrJyrK | +2.99 | 64 | 47 |
| #3 | tristen | +2.47 | 84 | 50 |
| #4 | ZephyR⚘ | -2.48 | 77 | 29 |
| #5 | melvin | -3.12 | 60 | 47 |





