








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3409 | 52% |
| Smokes | 1698 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 144 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 1259 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,289 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 531 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | Iamsupernoob | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Min Yaun | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | Trilaanhcuaminh | 33% | 36 |
| #9 | Darkzeroizme | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +W Soldier | 11 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | cc | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Trilaanhcuaminh | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Iamsupernoob | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cc | 254 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | +W Soldier | 240 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | lightshadow | 208 | 0.42 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 144 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | Min Yaun | 129 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cc | +5.95 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | +W Soldier | +5.65 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Iamsupernoob | +3.08 | 33 | 53 |
| #4 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | -0.95 | 33 | 48 |
| #5 | let me lick u feet | -1.18 | 10 | 50 |





