








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 571 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,733 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4196 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2324 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2006 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1207 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,444,525 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hilda | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | let me lick u feet | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | +W Soldier | 49% | 179 |
| #4 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 48% | 113 |
| #5 | Iamsupernoob | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cc | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | BAU-BAU | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Darkzeroizme | 40% | 35 |
| #9 | Min Yaun | 39% | 46 |
| #10 | Trilaanhcuaminh | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +W Soldier | 32 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | cc | 12 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Iamsupernoob | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Trilaanhcuaminh | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +W Soldier | 918 | 0.27 | 26 min |
| #2 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | 562 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | Iamsupernoob | 315 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | cc | 280 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | let me lick u feet | 177 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +W Soldier | +6.78 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | cc | +5.30 | 61 | 70 |
| #3 | Hilda | +1.80 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Iamsupernoob | +1.09 | 28 | 59 |
| #5 | Nippon Icchi Yohoho | +0.40 | 32 | 46 |





