










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 408 | 7% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,355 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CatMoon | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 47% | 150 |
| #3 | Coronel Mandiuca | 45% | 69 |
| #4 | etiAnsiwis | 45% | 107 |
| #5 | 1212 | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Coronel Mandiuca | 45% | 69 |
| #4 | etiAnsiwis | 45% | 107 |
| #5 | 1212 | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | BOTauri | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | Tobal223 | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Coronel Mandiuca | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | BOTauri | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 1212 | 3 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | 528 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | Coronel Mandiuca | 387 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 117 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | BOTauri | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tobal223 | 77 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | +3.21 | 60 | 60 |
| #2 | Coronel Mandiuca | +2.51 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | BOTauri | +1.63 | 41 | 56 |
| #4 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | +1.10 | 28 | 35 |
| #5 | 1212 | +0.17 | 32 | 49 |





