








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9551 | 38% |
| Smokes | 6873 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6454 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2574 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,279,422 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 48% | 236 |
| #5 | etiAnsiwis | 46% | 374 |
| #6 | BOTauri | 46% | 281 |
| #7 | InmortalPx | 45% | 69 |
| #8 | CatMoon | 43% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | BOTauri | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 【AccrO】 | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Rehziel | 8 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | 2056 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | 【AccrO】 | 497 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | BOTauri | 357 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nalgueaneitor 3000 | 261 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rehziel | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |





