








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7587 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3005 | 12% |
| Smokes | 6377 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5842 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9613 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,290,712 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1029 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etiAnsiwis | 3621 | 0.26 | 81 min |
| #2 | Coronel Mandiuca | 1297 | 0.26 | 29 min |
| #3 | 【AccrO】 | 686 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #4 | BOTauri | 550 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #5 | Rehziel | 207 | 0.07 | 5 min |





