










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 711 | 34% |
| Smokes | 550 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 460 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 346 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,150 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Čistota | 49% | 37 |
| #2 | pestzxx | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | bufy585 | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | Skibidi Tomi Paci | 46% | 67 |
| #5 | Jaromír Vyplata | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bufy585 | 11 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | YTB - Sec0nd | 10 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Skibidi Tomi Paci | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Jaromír Vyplata | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | pestzxx | 3 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YTB - Sec0nd | 192 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skibidi Tomi Paci | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | bufy585 | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mr_Čistota | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jaromír Vyplata | 17 | 0.04 | 0 min |





