








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1892 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2005 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1679 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,299 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaibon | 59% | 63 |
| #2 | António Visionário | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | Paulo Guedes | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Rick | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | Paulo Guedes | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | Rick | 49% | 80 |
| #6 | friA~ | 48% | 161 |
| #7 | happi | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paulo Guedes | 17 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Rick | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | friA~ | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | gaibon | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paulo Guedes | 275 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | friA~ | 203 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 167 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rick | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | António Visionário | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | António Visionário | +1.75 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | Always | +1.62 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | Paulo Guedes | +1.58 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | happi | +0.05 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | gaibon | -0.78 | 34 | 45 |





