








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1708 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1913 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,968 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Always | 49% | 93 |
| #2 | Rick | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | friA~ | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | António Visionário | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rick | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | friA~ | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | António Visionário | 42% | 71 |
| #6 | happi | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Always | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | António Visionário | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | friA~ | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milan Buzando Diporra | 201 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Always | 189 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rick | 179 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | António Visionário | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | friA~ | 101 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paulo Guedes | +1.28 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | António Visionário | +0.92 | 63 | 64 |
| #3 | Always | +0.73 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | happi | +0.08 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Rick | -0.89 | 48 | 54 |





