








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 250 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3589 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1321 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1863 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3011 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,130 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaz | 55% | 105 |
| #2 | muscle mommy | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | kylito | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Emjay | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | soonamii ☠ | 52% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | muscle mommy | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | kylito | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Emjay | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | soonamii ☠ | 52% | 176 |
| #6 | lai | 51% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soonamii ☠ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | shaz | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | lai | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | kylito | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Emjay | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | soonamii ☠ | 711 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | shaz | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | lai | 170 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Emjay | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | muscle mommy | 92 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylito | +4.77 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | shaz | +2.09 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Emjay | +1.42 | 73 | 72 |
| #4 | muscle mommy | +0.63 | 80 | 52 |
| #5 | lai | +0.09 | 83 | 49 |





