








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 954 | 23% |
| Smokes | 837 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1255 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1053 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,253 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zygi | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Tourette Turtle | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | Mr. Misiek | 41% | 75 |
| #4 | Teh_Q | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | KarlaK | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zygi | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Tourette Turtle | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | Mr. Misiek | 41% | 75 |
| #4 | Teh_Q | 41% | 27 |
| #5 | KarlaK | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Misiek | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Teh_Q | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Misiek | 106 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | KarlaK | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Tourette Turtle | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | Zygi | 17 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Teh_Q | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarlaK | +3.49 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | Zygi | +3.29 | 51 | 65 |
| #3 | Mr. Misiek | +0.47 | 37 | 53 |
| #4 | Tourette Turtle | +0.06 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | prof. Alzheimer | -1.60 | 39 | 53 |





