








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3913 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3644 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6737 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 4045 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,328,082 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORLO | 51% | 231 |
| #2 | aLx | 49% | 207 |
| #3 | Héé Biiiiim !!!! | 47% | 139 |
| #4 | kLn | 46% | 129 |
| #5 | FredSet | 45% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kLn | 46% | 129 |
| #5 | FredSet | 45% | 99 |
| #6 | Poulpi | 45% | 198 |
| #7 | Houbaaaa | 44% | 215 |
| #8 | Fardack | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORLO | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | aLx | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Poulpi | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Houbaaaa | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Héé Biiiiim !!!! | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poulpi | 546 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | aLx | 358 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | ORLO | 346 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Héé Biiiiim !!!! | 273 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | kLn | 242 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kLn | +3.78 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | ORLO | +2.80 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | Poulpi | +1.63 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | FredSet | +0.85 | 69 | 47 |
| #5 | Houbaaaa | +0.49 | 56 | 56 |





