








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2286 | 12% |
| Smokes | 6792 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 7484 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2309 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,156,019 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Per-Sonne | 50% | 52 |
| #2 | Poulpi | 48% | 182 |
| #3 | Scar | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | ORLO | 48% | 237 |
| #5 | aLx | 46% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | PaPa | 45% | 76 |
| #9 | #RØØT | 44% | 215 |
| #10 | FredSet | 43% | 127 |
| #11 | Fardack | 39% | 44 |
| #12 | kLn | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORLO | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | aLx | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | #RØØT | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Poulpi | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Héé Biiiiim !!!! | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poulpi | 544 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | ORLO | 365 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | #RØØT | 352 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Héé Biiiiim !!!! | 280 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | aLx | 276 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORLO | +2.67 | 61 | 70 |
| #2 | Scar | +2.55 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | kLn | +2.27 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | Poulpi | +2.23 | 59 | 69 |
| #5 | FredSet | +0.73 | 71 | 48 |





