








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 60 | 30% |
| Smokes | 40 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 32 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,000 of utility $286 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csgoaty | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Soyul | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | General Razz | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Division | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | swag patient 0 | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Soyul | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | General Razz | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | Division | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | swag patient 0 | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | SYFA | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SYFA | 1 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Division | 1 | 0.0244 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soyul | 27 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #2 | SYFA | 13 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | swag patient 0 | 11 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #4 | General Razz | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | csgoaty | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soyul | +3.32 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | csgoaty | +0.52 | 94 | 25 |
| #3 | General Razz | +0.25 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | Baen | +0.08 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | Division | -0.18 | 52 | 22 |





