








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2188 | 55% |
| Smokes | 452 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 670 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,413 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥︎ Clayst3rVT ♥ | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | [WILL] DaddysSpiltMilk | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | dashymyboiii | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | 69LinkBumsAndPoo69 | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | s0mple | 3 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [WILL] DaddysSpiltMilk | 179 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | ♥︎ Clayst3rVT ♥ | 94 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | chicken fingers & God #SFRC | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | 69LinkBumsAndPoo69 | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | dashymyboiii | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥︎ Clayst3rVT ♥ | +3.99 | 92 | 40 |
| #2 | chicken fingers & God #SFRC | +2.79 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | 403Freeze | +2.43 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | s0mple | -0.05 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | [WILL] Wasian Ling | -0.61 | 46 | 31 |





