








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2185 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1319 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1225 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1082 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,551 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | ★ | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | 包裹递送 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | ★ | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | 包裹递送 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ | 13 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 63 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | 包裹递送 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | +1.55 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | ★ | +0.79 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | Beware Wolf ☣ | -1.21 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | 包裹递送 | -4.94 | 32 | 41 |





