










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 22% |
| Smokes | 147 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 97 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,785 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | ★ | 46% | 35 |
| #3 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 54% | 13 |
| #2 | ★ | 46% | 35 |
| #3 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | ★ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 28 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | +2.18 | 66 | 49 |
| #2 | ★ | +1.88 | 49 | 60 |
| #3 | Beware Wolf ☣ | -0.80 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | 包裹递送 | -3.62 | 38 | 33 |





