








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1580 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1687 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,951 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 53% | 89 |
| #2 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | 包裹递送 | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | diinch | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 53% | 89 |
| #2 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | 包裹递送 | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | diinch | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | diinch | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | 248 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Beware Wolf ☣ | 190 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | diinch | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | 包裹递送 | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿️ e1™ ⛟ | +1.20 | 71 | 46 |
| #2 | ★ | +0.75 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | diinch | -1.55 | 55 | 45 |
| #4 | Beware Wolf ☣ | -1.64 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | 包裹递送 | -3.88 | 37 | 34 |





