








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 549 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7406 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1940 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 8843 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4561 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,993 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snappy | 61% | 100 |
| #2 | Fella | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Jolly Roger | 56% | 101 |
| #4 | Ramen | 56% | 101 |
| #5 | Leetify Ser | 56% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ramen | 56% | 101 |
| #5 | Leetify Ser | 56% | 399 |
| #6 | 2D Is Cute :) | 51% | 143 |
| #7 | Scrommyboy | 50% | 105 |
| #8 | 2D | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leetify Ser | 34 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Ramen | 28 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | snappy | 21 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Scrommyboy | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Fella | 10 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jolly Roger | 465 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Leetify Ser | 448 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | 2D Is Cute :) | 272 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | snappy | 238 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ramen | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snappy | +4.62 | 55 | 40 |
| #2 | Leetify Ser | +2.84 | 80 | 43 |
| #3 | Jolly Roger | +2.57 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Mace Hindu | +2.04 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | 2D Is Cute :) | -0.02 | 74 | 42 |





