








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2464 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2519 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2341 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,113,128 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snappy | 76 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Fella | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Scrommyboy | 22 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Mace Hindu | 19 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | rubtub | 16 | 0.0129 |





