








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 2,165 | |
| Premier | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1328 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1176 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 860 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $436,343 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonkxd `´ | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | pastorN | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | B L A C K M A G I C | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | para | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klonkxd `´ | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | pastorN | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | B L A C K M A G I C | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | para | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B L A C K M A G I C | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | klonkxd `´ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pastorN | 95 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | klonkxd `´ | 73 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | B L A C K M A G I C | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | para | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORA | +1.53 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | klonkxd `´ | +0.83 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | pastorN | +0.21 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | B L A C K M A G I C | -0.10 | 60 | 57 |
| #5 | para | -0.80 | 64 | 63 |





