








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,033 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,766 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 28% |
| Smokes | 536 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 328 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,884 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORA | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | B L A C K M A G I C | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | para | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | klonkxd `´ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORA | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | B L A C K M A G I C | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | para | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | klonkxd `´ | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B L A C K M A G I C | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | BORA | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | klonkxd `´ | 1 | 0.0192 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORA | 90 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | B L A C K M A G I C | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | para | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | klonkxd `´ | 5 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BORA | +2.05 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | pastorN | +0.31 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | B L A C K M A G I C | -0.60 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | klonkxd `´ | -0.81 | 80 | 59 |
| #5 | para | -3.02 | 65 | 68 |





