








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1664 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 629 matches | ||
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8961 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6230 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8236 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4895 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,649,794 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TRI.33 | 66% | 61 |
| #10 | $𝟒₥𝟒₦₮Ⱨ𝟒 ツ | 61% | 75 |
| #11 | FaxNoMail | 61% | 136 |
| #12 | Midori | 60% | 81 |
| #13 | Papa Gordo | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Ace | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 水 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Hard Enduro RIder⭕⃤ | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | FaxNoMail | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaxNoMail | 295 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | :)German | 276 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | 水 | 238 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ace | 184 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hard Enduro RIder⭕⃤ | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :)German | +4.23 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Ace | +2.92 | 55 | 85 |
| #3 | やめてください | +1.98 | 80 | 78 |
| #4 | TRI.33 | +1.52 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | Hard Enduro RIder⭕⃤ | +1.35 | 89 | 91 |





