








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2191 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1783 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1643 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,661 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lcs | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | Covas | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | XaNGaii | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Alentejano6R | 44% | 27 |
| #5 | Bot Cecil | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | zzzzz | 38% | 45 |
| #10 | 卩IЯΣƧ | 37% | 43 |
| #11 | B0r0♥ | 36% | 33 |
| #12 | Catoto_pt | 36% | 98 |
| #13 | CACHOPA | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ bYt0 | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Lcs | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Sem Patrão | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | zzzzz | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Catoto_pt | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ bYt0 | 397 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Sem Patrão | 154 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | zzzzz | 145 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lcs | 126 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Catoto_pt | 120 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alentejano6R | +2.90 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Super BOT | +2.22 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | XaNGaii | +0.67 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | Lcs | +0.27 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | Covas | +0.21 | 36 | 59 |





