








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 31% |
| Smokes | 827 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,837 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGS^^ | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Big Tamma | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | Kentou | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | AdVen Jahta | 56% | 167 |
| #5 | Katsuki Bakugo | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AdVen Jahta | 56% | 167 |
| #5 | Katsuki Bakugo | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | MaloQuadriceps | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | Ayoukenator | 51% | 69 |
| #8 | Paulo Levesquo | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaloQuadriceps | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | EGS^^ | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | AdVen Jahta | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Ayoukenator | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Kentou | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdVen Jahta | 540 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | EGS^^ | 241 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | MaloQuadriceps | 95 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kentou | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdVen Jahta | +2.17 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | Sakoula | +1.98 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | +0.73 | 57 | 59 |
| #4 | Kentou | +0.56 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | EGS^^ | -1.34 | 30 | 53 |





