








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 948 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3837 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2751 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1761 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,451 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kentou | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Big Tamma | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | Sakoula | 56% | 167 |
| #4 | Ayoukenator | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | EGS^^ | 50% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sakoula | 56% | 167 |
| #4 | Ayoukenator | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | EGS^^ | 50% | 182 |
| #6 | MaloQuadriceps | 47% | 88 |
| #7 | Paulo Levesquo | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGS^^ | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | MaloQuadriceps | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kentou | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Sakoula | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EGS^^ | 704 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sakoula | 279 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | 200 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | MaloQuadriceps | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kentou | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdVen Jahta | +2.85 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | Sakoula | +1.98 | 68 | 59 |
| #3 | Ayoukenator | +0.75 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | Kentou | +0.56 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | EGS^^ | -0.41 | 39 | 54 |





