








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
45 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $11,483 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lusthadiar | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ^m1L | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Cosmic-HH- | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Weary | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cosmic-HH- | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Pancakes | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Weary | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Salty | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | rsk-_x | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^m1L | 1 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Lusthadiar | 1 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Pancakes | 1 | 0.0217 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^m1L | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | Pancakes | 12 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #3 | Weary | 6 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Salty | 6 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | rsk-_x | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weary | +6.35 | 42 | 64 |
| #2 | Pancakes | +5.13 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | rsk-_x | +3.61 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Cosmic-HH- | +3.26 | 88 | 54 |
| #5 | ^m1L | -0.85 | 50 | 61 |





