








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 29% |
| Smokes | 551 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 666 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,909 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viktor | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | goblins are real | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | peeboy14 | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | holycow | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | RocKin | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | Cagey | 40% | 5 |
| #20 | sLug | 33% | 6 |
| #21 | deckle- | 20% | 5 |
| #22 | jazzer | 20% | 10 |
| #23 | R1K0CH3T | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cagey | 3 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | Moopz | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | goblins are real | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | STEEEEELE | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | deckle- | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moopz | 139 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | goblins are real | 99 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Umurangi | 83 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #4 | holycow | 73 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | CraMdeN | 72 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguinflops | +4.87 | 90 | 54 |
| #2 | deckle- | +4.81 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | RocKin | +3.23 | 82 | 78 |
| #4 | sammas | +2.57 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | holycow | +2.56 | 50 | 62 |





