








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3951 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4937 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3799 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,178,094 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrO | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | tobijah. | 53% | 163 |
| #3 | Monk | 52% | 194 |
| #4 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Julez | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrise2002 | 10 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Slick | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Monk | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tobijah. | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slick | 729 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #2 | tobijah. | 516 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Julez | 488 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Monk | 364 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 113 | 0.08 | 3 min |





