








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1042 | 27% |
| Smokes | 673 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 900 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1239 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,002 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boinkyspoingy | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | Those Pesky Hackers | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | Fetus Lobotomy | 71% | 68 |
| #4 | fentdefender58 | 69% | 140 |
| #5 | Pappy O'Daniel | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boinkyspoingy | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | Those Pesky Hackers | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | Fetus Lobotomy | 71% | 68 |
| #4 | fentdefender58 | 69% | 140 |
| #5 | Pappy O'Daniel | 62% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fentdefender58 | 23 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Pappy O'Daniel | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | boinkyspoingy | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Fetus Lobotomy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fentdefender58 | 572 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Fetus Lobotomy | 385 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #3 | Those Pesky Hackers | 103 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pappy O'Daniel | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | boinkyspoingy | 20 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fentdefender58 | +4.50 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | Those Pesky Hackers | +1.81 | 79 | 76 |
| #3 | Scasani | +1.76 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | Pappy O'Daniel | +0.63 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | Fetus Lobotomy | +0.18 | 82 | 77 |





