








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 33% |
| Smokes | 319 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 424 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 442 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,531 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scasani | 94% | 18 |
| #2 | Fetus Lobotomy | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | fentdefender58 | 63% | 52 |
| #4 | Those Pesky Hackers | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Pappy O'Daniel | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fentdefender58 | +4.06 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | HylianLink | +2.87 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | sponk | +2.33 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | Noxdify | +2.00 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | Scasani | +1.57 | 76 | 58 |





