








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 48% |
| Smokes | 217 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 743 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 681 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,312 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | txtpro Timmäääää | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | sчяох | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Dalai Drama | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | Dr. Papp | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | pxtpro | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | txthi | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Lxtpro | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | romsol | 50% | 24 |
| #13 | Katatatatata | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | pewpew | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalai Drama | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | pxtpro | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | maks | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Dr. Papp | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | txtpro Timmäääää | 2 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maks | 181 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | romsol | 103 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jason19258 | 99 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | pxtpro | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Schwalbe | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |





