










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,648 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2640 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4963 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1913 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3132 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,744 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThatOneGuy12 | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | marc | 57% | 72 |
| #3 | sawb | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | stas | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | Mr. right this minute | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | marc | 57% | 72 |
| #3 | sawb | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | stas | 53% | 133 |
| #5 | Mr. right this minute | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | Squap | 50% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sawb | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ThatOneGuy12 | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | stas | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | marc | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Squap | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stas | 385 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | sawb | 269 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Squap | 231 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | marc | 187 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | ThatOneGuy12 | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marc | +4.43 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | stas | +3.21 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | sawb | +1.36 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | ThatOneGuy12 | +1.19 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Squap | +1.02 | 69 | 48 |





