








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 400 | 13% |
| Smokes | 994 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 601 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,474 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CGL 2.0 | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Hobo_Jesus | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | SexyDoro | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyDoro | 226 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hobo_Jesus | 94 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | 84 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrystalNochu | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | CGL 2.0 | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♤ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕪♤ | +3.34 | 41 | 48 |
| #2 | CGL 2.0 | +2.97 | 57 | 51 |
| #3 | Dr.NIC | +0.72 | 38 | 19 |
| #4 | Hobo_Jesus | -0.18 | 32 | 33 |
| #5 | 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚜 | -0.22 | 54 | 30 |





