








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1869 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1350 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,570 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Flaming Hot Doritos | 44% | 147 |
| #5 | Nacho Cheese Doritos | 41% | 32 |
| #6 | Atomic Chile Doritos | 37% | 75 |
| #7 | Andres | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | Blaze(d) Doritos ™ | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atomic Chile Doritos | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Cool Ranch Doritos | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Nacho Cheese Doritos | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Flaming Hot Doritos | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Blaze(d) Doritos ™ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cool Ranch Doritos | 176 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Flaming Hot Doritos | 87 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Atomic Chile Doritos | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nacho Cheese Doritos | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blaze(d) Doritos ™ | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |





